Fathers Day will never be the same...

This Tuesday we were scheduled to make a visit to the Dr to have our first ultrasound for our third child. Instead we woke up this past Thursday morning to have our world turned upside down... Let me back up a little bit. As many of you know we have been blessed with 2 beautiful children; Sierra Nicole (July 12th 2003) and Raquel Elizabeth (September 17th 2005) Due to life circumstances and where we were living discussions of other children weren't really an option. Once we moved into our house last year we began having those discussions again of having another or pursuing adoption/foster parenting. For a long time, I had wanted another child of our own but Sarah wasn't as enthusiastic but we both knew adoption was something near to our hearts so we began praying towards that. Several months ago, I had become content with not having any more biological children but then Sarah said she wasn't sure she was ready to be done. So we agreed to pray about it for a little while and then come together and discuss. On May 4th, during a late Friday night conversation we decided to go ahead and sign up for foster parenting classes later this summer. We finally were in agreement on a course of action :-) on Monday I came home from work to my very surprised wife who told me that we were going to be having another baby. We were very shocked by God's very definitive answer to us "making our own plans" :-) but we were both very excited. We told the girls and our parents on Mothers Day and began telling a few friends here and there! I wanted to rent a plane to fly around a banner announcing the news but at the request of my wife I tried to temper myself :-) As I mentioned we were going in 2 days to have the ultrasound and then begin letting everyone know our news! Sarah had been very worried because she had a couple of friends who had gone through miscarriages so we had been praying together at night for God to protect the baby and keep her and us from worry! Thursday morning I woke up and was preparing to go to work when Sarah cried out to me from the bathroom. She was having light bleeding and cramping and at that moment I think I knew what was going to happen but was trying to be hopeful. Those next 4 hours time went agonizingly slow from trying to call the Dr and schedule an appt and them not turning off their answering machine till 10 minutes after they opened to the agonizing wait for the ultra-sound to hearing the words "your baby stopped growing at 5.5 weeks." It was all so surreal and painful to hear, but then to know that the worst part was yet to come! I half-heartedly went to work that afternoon and thankfully I already had Friday scheduled off to spend with my parents, the girls and Sarah as we were going to the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad. At Sarah's request, we all went ahead on the trip which was extremely difficult for me to leave her but thankfully she had some friends who came over and visited with her throughout the day. I lost it a few times on the train and throughout the day but it was good to have a distraction. Saturday was very difficult because I didn't want to do anything and Sarah was in a lot of pain. That was the most difficult thing about this for me; knowing and seeing my wife in pain and knowing that there was nothing I could do except be with her and wait for "it" to happen. I don't like feeling helpless. So we watched movies all day, visited with some friends who stopped by and were very thankful that my parents took the girls all day and did stuff with them so we could spend time together. As many of you know I work in the nursery at our church because I LOVE babies and work every other week in there. I was not scheduled to be in there this morning. I went back and forth all day yesterday between calling our nursery coordinator and quitting to calling her and asking her to work in there this morning so I could cuddle with some of my favorite babies. I chose the latter and am glad I did. I took the girls and went to the nursery but then towards the end one of our friends came running down the hall and said I needed to call Sarah right away. "It" had happened, I sped home crying and scared because I had never dealt with this before. How do you deal with the loss of a life from someone you never got to meet. Now there are so many decisions to make (do we name the baby that we don't even know the gender of?, do we have a funeral, do we plant a bush or plant in memory of, do we give the baby a 'date of death'... or do we not do those things so that we don't "hold onto the pain" like someone suggested...) I never knew before we "joined the club" how many people were a part of it, some multiple times over. I know I have tried to sympathize and offer condolences to them but now I realize how inadequate it is. Not that we or they don't appreciate receive messages, texts and phone calls because I really really do but there is nothing you can really say or do except, "I love you and I'm there if you need me" so thank you to all of you that have done that, I appreciate it a lot; but all I feel and know right now at this moment is that Father's Day will never be the same.

1 Valentines Day... 3 Dates... one lucky guy

A few weeks ago I was trying to plan Valentines Day with Sarah and I got the idea to do an individual date with each of the 3 special ladies in my life. So I set up a breakfast date with Raquel, a lunch date with Sierra and a dinner date with Sarah. On my way home from work Friday I picked up flowers for all three and then on Saturday I started off with Raquel and we went to breakfast at her favorite restaurant Farmer Boy. She was dressed so cute in her pink heart shirt and brown courduroy pants. She loved her yellow rose, and her card with monkey heart stickers but the big hit was the chocolates in the Dora and Diego heart box especially when I let her eat one after her pancakes and eggs. She was the hit of the restaurant with her big grin and incessant chatter. I got a few "you're the best daddy ever" and that always make my day.




Then I managed to get in a 45 minute, 3 mile walk for my 1/2 marathon training and got cleaned up and dressed up in a tie to take Sierra on a special date to a fancy Restaurant which she was very excited about. The restaurant we wanted to go to wasn't open for lunch so we settled on a slightly less fancy restaurant but she was none the wiser. On the way there she broke my heart because we were listening to "I loved her first" by Heartland (great song by the way if you have daughters) and she's singing along and then all of the sudden she starts tearing up and crying and I asked her what was wrong and she said "I don't want to leave when I grow up" (you have to listen to the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXhJ3oCg3K8) Of course this got me going, I practically cry every time I hear that song anyway. I asked her to not think about that right now and to enjoy all the time we get together but she wouldn't stop so I had to promise that she didn't have to leave until she was ready and that I wouldn't let her go unless we found the right guy for her... then she says, "if we find the right guy for me he'll probably let me come visit anytime I want" Anyhow, I was all emotional after that but we went to lunch and she was especially excited to have me "escort" her in by the arm and take her coat. We enjoyed a nice meal and she too loved her rose, card and chocolate. I finally have women figure out, flowers, cards and chocolate:-)





Then it was time to relax a little in the afternoon before going to pick up the babysitter so Sarah and I could go out. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner at the Wooster Inn even though I was disappointed that they took the appetizer (elk sausage and cheese platter) and entree (duck) I wanted to order off the menu for Valentines Day because "they take too long to prepare" so I settled for a Baked Camembert Cheese with honey and chutney for appetizer and a huge Ribeye. I also had 1/2 of a chocolate strawberry that they brought with the bill which was the first sweet I had partaken of since January 1st. I didn't feel too bad because I have lost about 16 lbs in that time frame. Afterwards we were going to go to a movie but bagged it and drove 25 minutes to Target just for the heck of it and enjoyed some time out by ourselves (in our defense there's not much to do around her besides the movies) Anyhow it was a good time of just being together.

I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to share the special day with all my girls

The Final Game at Texas Stadium

All my life, I had wanted to see the Cowboys play in Texas Stadium and when they announced 2 years ago that they would be building a new stadium, I began to plan to attend a game this year. My dad's brother and family live in Ft. Worth so when they announced the season schedule this past April, I began to look at different games to go to and made plans to meet my dad down there and go the the game with him, his brother and my cousin. After looking at ticket prices, I decided on the final game against Baltimore and got tickets from www.viptickets.com The biggest fear of course when purchasing online is that it might be a scam or that they might not send the tickets etc. I have to say that I was very impressed with the site and the tickets were delivered in a timely manner and were really good seats. Of course, I don't like the price I paid, but unfortunately that's the way tickets are sold these days.

My dad and I were both supposed to arrive on Friday, but his flights experienced several delays and he finally made it to the game with 2 minutes left in the 1st quarter. The only disappointing thing about the game was the final score, but the post game ceremony with all the former Cowboys players being introduced was definitely worth the trip. Enjoy the pics and videos

Merry "Puking" Christmas

The following poem is based on actual people and events (of tonight) with some (but not many) elements of fiction

Twas the night before Christmas and things were not so nice
Almost everyone was puking, even the mice

Mother-in-Law was vomiting in a trash can
The smell so bad, we had to roll down the windows in the van

A while later, the littlest one spoke up from the back seat
and said "I'm sick"
then proceeded to puke on her feet (and coat, shirt, pants etc.)

Later both grandparents were puking in a tupperware bowl
the sickness was really starting to take it's toll

Finally round about 9 o'clock,
the washer had finished cleaning the sock (and coat, shirt, pants etc)


The kiddo's were snuggled all in their beds
& Daddy and Mommy popped some pills for their heads

Christmas Day was coming in just a few short hours
Here's hoping that sickness does not tomorrow sour.


Merry Christmas everyone, here's hoping yours is puke free :-)

Cedarville 10 Year reunion

For all of you who couldn't make the reunion and those who did who want to watch it again here is the Class of 1998 video tribute. Thanks to all who sent pictures

My daughter's first campout

Sierra turned 5 this past Saturday and my desire was to do something really special for her that would create lasting memories instead of just giving her more "toys" or thing that she would forget very easily, so I decided to take her tent camping which is a big passion of mine. I was a little unsure of how she would do, so I put in some extra prayer for patience and tolerance and tried to not have too high of expectations.

As it turns out we had a grand time and she hasn't stopped talking about it. I took her down to Skyview Ranch where I worked in college and we had a great time swimming in the lake. Anybody who knows me, knows how much I love Skyview so I was very excited to be taking her there and sharing that experience with her. After swimming and enjoying the lake that wasn't there 10 years ago, I put on my pack, put hers on

and we were off on our "hike" out to the Oats Field.

After hiking to the far edge of the property and set up our tent and built a fire...

We had to hike down to the creek to filter some water for dinner and we had to walk through the field with the horses. I was a little scared, because 12 years ago, when I had my junior campers in the Oats Field on a campout, they let the horses out into that field and I woke up to a voice whispering "counselor we have trouble" and looked up to see about 8 of campers with horses straddling or standing in close proximity to their sleeping bags. This time, I felt pretty comfortable because we were in the upper field and had a tent. Our gourmet camp meal was Kraft Easy Mac over my whisperlite camp stove and hot dogs over the fire followed of course by the traditional camp dessert S'mores

After dinner, we read some of our favorite nature books followed by our all time favorite book "My Daddy and I" We sang some songs... "My God is so Big" and "Lord of all Creation" and captured these amazing pictures. Sierra even took the one of me all by herself.

Sierra thought it was really cool to use a groundhog hole to go to the bathroom in and found it funny that we "burned" the toilet paper with a match to 'leave no trace' and we finally went into the tent about 9:30 and after a little trouble (she didn't have a pillow and a nose thing) and Dad accidentally rolling over on "Clarabelle" (her imaginary friend) she fell asleep about 10:15 and woke up only once in the night and then at 5:30. At 5:30 I just looked at her and said "No, you go back to sleep" she did for about another hour. We had some granola bars and fruit leather and tore down camp and then read some creation Psalms before hiking back to enjoy some Saturday morning Skyview Ranch cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We finished off our adventure by enjoying the petting farm and canoeing in the lake and touring the old barn because it sounds like it might be getting torn down.

This was a trip that created a ton of memories for me and hopefully her and one that I will always treasure.

FIREWORKS

Thanks to all who read and commented on my last post. I will be doing some follow up comments but I hope it has promoted some good thought and discussion amongst your households.

On to a far less serious topic: FIREWORKS are way cool. It had been 6 years since I had actually gone to a fireworks display due to kids, life etc. I have seen some off and on and on TV, but to actually plan on going, finding a good seat etc. it had been a while.

Woo town (aka Wooster, OH) has a pretty kickin fireworks display so this year we decided to take the kids and go. We went around five down the soccer fields and went over to our churches bouncy castles and free hot dog/pop/water outreach area and let the girls play and we all enjoyed a free hotdog and beverage. Then we walked over to visit with the grandparents and Sarah's sister and her family. I grabbed some killer ribs and then we got some homemade ice cream (I'm not a big fan) and let the girls play a little more before going to stake out our seats. Now we normally put the girls to be at 7:30 and the fireworks weren't supposed till 10:00 so this was a little out of the norm for us.

One of Sarah's good friends from High School and his family joined us and we picked a prime hill off the walking path close to Highland on the Hill and WOW. When they finally started, it was an awesome display. They looked like they were exploding right down on us. It was great. Quellie (aka Raquel) our youngest was not too amused though and while she didn't cry, she spent most of the time with her hood pulled down over her face with Mom covering her face while sneaking occasional peaks. My oldest spent the time on my lap, constanly peppering me with all sorts of questions. It's like someone puts a quarter into this kid to wind her up. She just doesn't stop.

We had a great time and can't wait till next year.